This would be better if it was about 60 seconds shorter and Bill O’Reilly wasn’t in so much of it.
Okay, any of it.
And better still if Bill O’Reilly didn’t actually have a show at all, but washed dishes at my store. And then I fired him for being an arrogant, ignorant dink with no [...]

This just in: the dumbest band in history is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into 5 years ago.
Lars Ulrich, the combustible (oh, if only! - ed.) drummer of heavy-metal band Metallica and long-time critic of file sharing, has apparently changed some of his views towards the Internet and digital music.
In an interview with Rolling Stone [...]

Far better than “the devil’s dandruff”, “directing powder” or even “naughty salt”.
(CNN) — A man dressed as a priest caught at Amsterdam’s airport with three kilos of cocaine under his vestments claimed to police that his packages contained “holy sand”, Dutch police said.
Security officials conducting a normal security check at Schiphol airport last year.
Police [...]

Former PM Brian Mulroney (whose political legacy would most honestly be summarized in the sentence, “I was sort of like a dumber, less sophisticated Reagan, and I have one of those Affleck bum chins — and, um, plus also I decided it would be cool to tax books and bring in the GST”) will today [...]

Sorry I haven’t been posting lately. One shitty thing after another.
I promise to bring more posts now that I have a stable computer again. But in the meantime, I thought I’d share this.
“You’ve committed a very serious offense, Mr. Black,” Judge Amy St. Eve of the U.S. District Court told the 63-year-old Black [...]

Police: Stinky Feet Led to Tx. Stabbing
HOUSTON (AP) — A drunken argument over smelly feet led a man to stab his roommate to death, police said Monday.
William Antonio Serrano, 22, and the other man were drinking Saturday night when the victim told Serrano his feet had a foul odor, Sgt. Macario Sosa said.
Serrano grabbed a [...]

This is going to come as a total shock to a lot of you, but there is mounting evidence to suggest that rapper DMX may be a bit of a dick, at best, and a sociopath at worst.
Either that, or his publicist has trumped up this story to enliven his comatose career.
Two dogs found buried [...]

Water, that is. And maybe a lawyer. That’s what a Union City, Georgia cop might be telling himself today following the arrest of a local McDonald’s employee.

Yes, as if working at McDonald’s wasn’t enough of a pain in the ass, apparently you can now get tossed in jail on obscure charges of burger hypersalination.

UNION CITY, [...]

Federal Liberal M.P. Michael Ignatieff seems to have been smitten by the puffin, an indigenous bird to Newfoundland, where the Liberals held a caucus meeting. Indeed, he’s decided the bird would be a good candidate for party mascot.
“It’s a noble bird because it has good family values. They stay together for 30 years. They [...]

Christopher Hitchens has been largely incoherent since 9/11, for reasons which escape me. But his latest piece on Conrad and his insane wife, formerly known as talent-challenged right-wing hack Barbara Amiel, is a very fun read.
Here’s a tidbit to give you an idea of what Black went to bed with every night:
Lady Black, the former [...]