Political Discourse
On the eve of the provincial leaders debate here in Ontario, here are five things which, if you’re going by the playbook, you should never say in the course of a political debate:
- “Well, but with respect, you would say something like that, you silly cockmaster.”
- “If I’m being honest, I’m really more of a tax and tax liberal. And if I’m really being honest, all hail Lord Satan!”
- “Jumpin’ cats and dogs, I am just absolutely zooming on this bathtub meth I made!”
- “Is anyone else tired of talking about fat, poor kids?”
- “The honourable Member’s comment reminds me of something I overheard at Andy Dick’s place while I was giving a backrub to this Belgian dude in a satyr costume…er, I mean, while I was helping build townhomes for Habitat for Humanity.”
Just my two cents. Don’t go there.
Offer your own ideas and maybe I’ll forward them to the candidates as a public service.
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1. “That’s it, we’re fucking *paving* Ingersoll.”
2. “Man do I miss VIA Rail’s TrainTrollopsâ„¢”
3. “What’s that Eskimo place called again?”
4. “Whoa, is that the fucking Queen on our money? When’d that happen?!”
5. “When you get right down to it, hockey is queer.”
Brilliant.