Pistols? Please shoot me.

It’s one thing if you’re Dylan or Springsteen and you try to evolve in some way. This is just an animatronic waxworks. It’s another if you’re a self-parodying muppet like John Lydon.

The Sex Pistols have joined the growing list of 1970s bands hitting the comeback trail, after announcing a one-off gig in London later this year.

The four surviving members of the band will take to the stage at the Brixton Academy on Nov 8 to mark the 30th anniversary of their album Never Mind The Bollocks.

Their announcement follows the ticket scramble sparked by last week’s news that Led Zeppelin are to play a charity gig at London’s O2 arena, also in November.

The Sex Pistols - the most celebrated and notorious British punk band - split in 1978 shortly before the death of bassist Sid Vicious.

They last reformed at a poorly-received show in Crystal Palace in south London in 2002.

Frontman John Lydon - formerly known as Johnny Rotten - told music website NME.com that “all of Britain” was welcome to attend the Brixton show, which coincides with the re-release of their first album.

“Maybe it’s because we’re all Londoners, but there would be no Sex Pistols without dear old London town,” he said.

“From London Bridge to the Rose and Crown, all of Britain is welcome so come on down.”

Er, thanks for the invite, but I’m busy having copper nails pounded into my eyes and ears that night.

There’s only one thing we can do to stop this shit, and that’s to stop buying overpriced tickets to watch these mummified, wheezing hacks bumble through songs that ceased to be relevant over a quarter century ago. Doesn’t seem like a lot to ask.

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