I’m retainin’ it

Water, that is. And maybe a lawyer. That’s what a Union City, Georgia cop might be telling himself today following the arrest of a local McDonald’s employee.

Yes, as if working at McDonald’s wasn’t enough of a pain in the ass, apparently you can now get tossed in jail on obscure charges of burger hypersalination.

UNION CITY, Ga. - A McDonald’s employee spent a night in jail and is facing criminal charges because a police officer’s burger was too salty, so salty that he says it made him sick.

Kendra Bull was arrested Friday, charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct and freed on $1,000 bail.

Bull, 20, said she accidentally spilled salt on hamburger meat and told her supervisor and a co-worker, who “tried to thump the salt off.”

On her break, she ate a burger made with the salty meat. “It didn’t make me sick,” Bull told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

But then Police Officer Wendell Adams got a burger made with the oversalted meat, and he returned a short time later and told the manager it made him sick.

Bull admitted spilling salt on the meat, and Adams took her outside and questioned her, she said.

“If it was too salty, why did (Adams) not take one bite and throw it away?” said Bull, who has worked at the restaurant for five months.

It’s a good question. I’m going to venture that a possible answer: Officer Wendell Adams is a glutton and/or moron.

The thing that confuses me here is that the story makes it seem as though an actual batch of hamburger meat was actually mixed in-store. Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t they actually just griddle up pre-existing patties?

This whole story actually smells of bad meat. Let’s pretend I never even brought it up.

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