If it’s bad for you anyway…

…you might as well deep fry it.

Perhaps because he’s not getting nearly fat enough from eating deep-fried Mars bars and Oreos, Dallas computer analyst Abel Gonzales has created Fried Coke, a deep-fried batter-based version of the soft drink.

Gonzales gave no indication of the calories in his creation and said he would not patent it.“The best I can hope for is that it’s the original and hopefully the best fried Coke out there,” he said.

But Gonzales said the success of his fried Coke had inspired him. Next year’s fair-goers can look forward to fried Sprite or — for those watching their weight — fried diet Coke.

“We are trying to cut a lot of the sugar out of it. It has less calories but it’s still very, very sweet,” he said.

Ray Crockett, a spokesman for Coca-Cola Co., said: “We’re constantly amazed at the creative ways folks find to enjoy their Coke and make it part of celebrations like fairs and festivals. This is one is definitely different!”

Yeah! Different! Different like watching a guy’s heart explode right out of his chest different! Different like Jeffrey Dahmer was different!

Let’s face it: eating deep fried Coke is as nihilistic as the stuff they teach you at Taliban High.

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