Somebody pinch me!

I can’t believe it! I just can’t fathom it! And I could never, ever, ever have predicted it!

Only a few years after Jay-Z, arguably hip-hop’s most overrated MC, claimed that he would retire after releasing “The Black Album” — and subsequently bagging buckets of free ink from the gullible press — Jay-Z is releasing another album! It’s called “Kingdom Come”, and its been getting a lot of press because, of course, it marks…yes, that’s right…the end of his retirement!

See how easy it is to manipulate the gullible and bovine press corps? All you have to do is bang Beyonce, lie a bit and watch them beaver away at cutting your PR bill in half! For extra points, stick Coldplay lead whinger Chris Martin somewhere on the album — and be sure to mention that fact in each and every interview.

This record will be about as relevant as its Yacht Rock equivalent, the Eagles’ Hell Freezes Over. Or Michael Jordan’s baseball career.

Read on